What makes Horns Down so fulfilling?
Oklahoma fans, God bless’m, have reminded me more than once in the past week that the Sooners’ record against Texas over the last several years is pretty good.
And apparently the one victory for the Longhorns was a gift from TCU. Not sure how that works, but I think it has something to do with Oklahoma attempting passes with five different players in its 49-0 loss back in 2022.
SEC Media Days begins next Monday in Dallas. Let’s be real. It’s a drawn out, four-day event so ESPN can have some summer programming. It’s a little absurd, but that’s what we love about college football in the Deep South. Oklahoma and Texas officially joined the Southeastern Conference at the beginning of July. We welcome them with open arms, calloused hearts and slightly clogged arteries. The Brisket Takeover is here. In about a week’s time, the entire dynamic of the SEC has been turned on its ear.
The league’s beloved two-division system is gone.
The scheduling format has been revolutionized.
Players are getting paid.
Coaches are getting nervous.
Confusion is the keynote speaker for college football this summer, but understand this one thing going into the talking season’s Red River Welcome Party. Nothing will ever be agreed upon in the SEC except for this singular, universal truth.
Everyone loves to hate Texas.
Joseph Goodman
Stories by Joseph Goodman
Birmingham native, godson of Dabo Swinney, named to Olympic team
Life’s a Process: Miss Terry passes catastrophe off to Coach Saban
Goodman’s Mailbag: ‘No Sooner fan is worried about Texas’
Goodman: Is Nick Saban available for the World Cup?
Goodman: Between Texas and Oklahoma, one team is already falling behind
Not me, of course. I have nothing against the Longhorns. Texas is a writer’s dream. With Texas, there’s tension driving the plot with the turn of every page.
But it’s not just our written language that calls out in collective conflict over all things Austin. It’s our sign language, too.
No.5 on my list of 10 Burning Questions for college football’s offseason is all about the burnt orange. I gotta ask it. Why in the name of Dana Xenophon Bible is it so satisfying to flash the Horns Down sign?
The SEC voted Texas into the league years ago, so I’ve had plenty of time to develop a sense for why fans around the country despise Texas. Some of it is envy. Some of it is jealousy. A lot of fans think Texas is too thin skinned or arrogant. Really, though, it think it can all be cooked own to one debased emotional reflex, and it’s that flipping the finger is fun but it’s got nothing on the wicked thrill of throwing down the Horns.
Admit it. You’ve already done it. Like a 12-year-old who just learned how to give a single-digit salute. Maybe it was in the mirror. Maybe it was on July 1 when Texas and Oklahoma officially left the Big 12 for the SEC. Maybe it was when Bevo walked into Bryant-Denny last season and hooked Alabama with a 34-24 victory.
Maybe it was when Texas was upset by Oklahoma a few weeks later, or while reading this column, or on Monday when SEC Media Days begin in Dallas.
It’s inevitable, though. By the start of a football season when everything will be new and clean and built on huge stacks of green, all fans in the SEC unaffiliated with Texas will be giving Bevo the business in the mode of hand horns pointing straight into the dirt.
Does everyone loathe Texas? I don’t fully understand it yet, but it sure seems that way. Does everyone hate Texas equally? Not even close.
10 BURNING QUESTION
Question 1: Will Isaiah Bond regret leaving Alabama for Texas?
Question 2: What does Nick Saban really think about Alabama?
Question 3: Where is the hottest seat in college football?
Question 4: Is Oklahoma ready for the SEC?
If I’ve learned anything about the SEC’s newest members, it’s that Texas vs. Oklahoma isn’t actually the nastiest new addition to the league’s long list of rivalries. I’m not prepared to put Texas vs. Texas A&M at the top of the list among blood feuds around the toughest league in sports, but it’s already in the running alongside the Egg and Iron bowls for its obscene levels of animus.
Texas’ recent theft of Texas A&M’s baseball coach is nothing compared to the long history of this heated hate-fest. In 1917, a group of Texas A&M students broke into Bevo’s pen and branded Texas’ live mascot with the score of Texas A&M’s 13-0 victory in 1915. Texas A&M fans claim that Bevo’s branding is how the steer was named.
Alabama once had a mentally unsound fan who poisoned Auburn’s live oaks at Toomer’s Corner. I’m not sure which version of venom is worse because animal cruelty apparently is not above the Aggies.
Texas A&M renews its rivalry game with Texas on Saturday, Nov.30. That’s rivalry week in college football. In years past, the Longhorns prepared for its game against Texas A&M with the Hex Rally.
Hex Rally was a pep rally to honor a tradition dating back to 1941. Lore has it that some Texas fans called upon a fortune teller in Austin a week before the football game. The fortune teller instructed the Texas fans to burn red candles like some kind of supernatural seance to the football spirits. It worked, and a new tradition was born.
Then Texas A&M jumped to the SEC.
The Hex Rally went away and former Texas athletics director DeLoss Dodds vowed that Texas would never again play football against Texas A&M. Well, Texas A&M got the last laugh once again. The Longhorns followed their in-state rivals to the SEC and dragged Oklahoma along for the ride.
Welcome to the SEC, Texas. Consider all the hostility a sign of respect. Horns Down for the SEC’s new rodeo clown.
BE HEARD
Got a question for Joe? Want to get something off your chest? Send Joe an email about what’s on your mind for the mailbag. Let your voice be heard. Ask him anything.
